Tuesday, August 26, 2008

sh1t that apparently only happens to me...volume 1

***the picture above was actually (secretly) taken at the "free clinic" yesterday and the brothers in the black and white t-shirts are the subjects of my post today***

Welcome to the maiden entry of a segment I would like to call (theme music) "shit that apparently only happens to me!"

Picture it...Sicily 1913..oh wait...wrong show...damn I loved the Golden Girls, didn't you? (RIP Estelle Getty)... ok focus GOOD, remain on task! Real talk, I'm a contractor and therefore don't have health insurance...so, being the hustler that I am, I figured out how to get general health exams and my chocha checked for free! I get muhfuggin checkups at Dallas County Health and Human Services aka the "free clinic"..now when u hear the phrase "free clinic" do u think romance? perhaps love at first sight? H3LL NAH!!!I think pissing fire and penicillan shots. Not my idea of a great place to pick up women...oh but the 2 musketeers in the picture above (that I secretly camera-phoned in the waiting room) seem to feel differently...I was approached by each of these men...not approached as in "hey sista can you tell me what time it is?"...approached like "do u stay around here, pretty red?"..."your hat is that fiyah, I like your style mama..." and my personal favorite "whatchu doing when u leave here?"...you should have seen my face! it was a cross between NIGGA REALLY? and a smile for fear of hood related retaliation...and for the record "FIYAH" is not really a word that should be uttered in a "free clinic", yes?

so I asked myself...self...catching rhythm at the free clinic...great or gross? my answer...GROOS...whether he is a doctor that's impressed with my "stirrup game" or a fine hood-style babymaker with crotch rot the whole approach is suspect...u know why?? huh? huh? do ya?? cuz it's the fuggin "free clinic" that's it...that's all..

so today's segment of "shit that apparently only happens to me!" has been brought to you by our proud sponsors at Trojans, where the new slogan is "Trojans are cheaper than child support!" and the letters "W" "T" and "F"...thank you for your time and attention...you may now return to your regular scheduled program already in progress!


Anonymous said...

It doesn't just happen to you, it happens all the time, it was just your time to expierence the the burnt playas 'here's my chance to pic a new victim' and the whoas of the free clinic....lol (300)

suga said...

bwahaha Girl, you are hilarious.

And I'll have you know, I keep that pretty smile beaming as well, when im rolling through my own hood, all for fear of hood related retaliation. lol

shatani said...

Stop playin!! that is hilarious!

its funny, i was having a similar conversation with my girl the other day...cuz i had just started a new job and had to get drug tested. so im at Quest lab and there is this fly dude there, so i text her about it...she talkin bout, go holla. and im like, yeah, i dont think the drug test joint is the best place to meet a dude! i mean, theres a list of places and waiting room at the free clinic is right on up there! (right behind, waiting room at your therapist's office! trust me on THAT one!)

(vixenchick) said...

lol at 'picture it..sicily'. i love the golden girls too.

Monk said...

Too Funny!! I can't get Cube's "Look Who's Burnin'" out my head...lol.
When dude asked what you were doing after you left there, you should've started coughing and scratching your crotch uncontrollably and said, "You."

Better yet, that's not a good idea...he prolly would've tried to take you up on it.

Cornell Westside said...

Wow...I have approached women in some very strange places...but the clinic-the FREE clinic at that, not NEVA!

You better hope that none of those would be suitors frequents blogspot.com....maybe they have their own page: damnmypisshurts.blogspot.com hahah

Luvvie a.k.a. Queen IG said...

Some men need to just SAT DOWN when they get the urge to say something to women. Nothing bout that young free clinic says "yes, approach me. I'll be open and willing". Womp.

Luvvie a.k.a. Queen IG said...

Oh, and Golden Girls was MY ISH!! Sophia: "Blanche, you're a slut!"

*Sigh* RIP Estelle.

Sisanda said...

"When dude asked what you were doing after you left there, you should've started coughing and scratching your crotch uncontrollably and said, "You."

Lmfao..that's hilarious!!!

Hey, look at it this way, the guy was developing his people skills.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

love that theme music LMBAO

anywho happy 45th

Summer G said...

I can already see that I have to get my weight up to post with your ass... you done got MO ignant that you were back in the day!

good post!