Tuesday, August 26, 2008
sh1t that apparently only happens to me...volume 1
***the picture above was actually (secretly) taken at the "free clinic" yesterday and the brothers in the black and white t-shirts are the subjects of my post today***
Welcome to the maiden entry of a segment I would like to call (theme music) "shit that apparently only happens to me!"
Picture it...Sicily 1913..oh wait...wrong show...damn I loved the Golden Girls, didn't you? (RIP Estelle Getty)... ok focus GOOD, remain on task! Real talk, I'm a contractor and therefore don't have health insurance...so, being the hustler that I am, I figured out how to get general health exams and my chocha checked for free! I get muhfuggin checkups at Dallas County Health and Human Services aka the "free clinic"..now when u hear the phrase "free clinic" do u think romance? perhaps love at first sight? H3LL NAH!!!I think pissing fire and penicillan shots. Not my idea of a great place to pick up women...oh but the 2 musketeers in the picture above (that I secretly camera-phoned in the waiting room) seem to feel differently...I was approached by each of these men...not approached as in "hey sista can you tell me what time it is?"...approached like "do u stay around here, pretty red?"..."your hat is that fiyah, I like your style mama..." and my personal favorite "whatchu doing when u leave here?"...you should have seen my face! it was a cross between NIGGA REALLY? and a smile for fear of hood related retaliation...and for the record "FIYAH" is not really a word that should be uttered in a "free clinic", yes?
so I asked myself...self...catching rhythm at the free clinic...great or gross? my answer...GROOS...whether he is a doctor that's impressed with my "stirrup game" or a fine hood-style babymaker with crotch rot the whole approach is suspect...u know why?? huh? huh? do ya?? cuz it's the fuggin "free clinic" that's it...that's all..
so today's segment of "shit that apparently only happens to me!" has been brought to you by our proud sponsors at Trojans, where the new slogan is "Trojans are cheaper than child support!" and the letters "W" "T" and "F"...thank you for your time and attention...you may now return to your regular scheduled program already in progress!