Monday, November 19, 2007

10 to 1

Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People
1 ] you don't need magnums, knee grow
2 ] you looked better fat
3 ] you are my reason
4 ] i miss you, but i don't trust you
5 ] i LOVE your hair
6 ] you can't love me if you just met me on Friday.. it's Sunday!
7 ] why are you still calling me!
8 ] you're almost 30...GET A FUGGIN JOB!
9 ] i love you
10 ] i quit!

Nine Things About Yourself:
1 ] i build spreadsheets for fun
2 ] when i am asked a question i don't know, i MUST find the answer
3 ] music is my air
4 ] i am a mother, a griot, a stylist, an interior designer, an event planner, a counselor, a volunteer, an intimacy consultant and an accountant... :)
5 ] i am a genuinely happy and thankful woman
6 ] i used to be a people pleaser
7 ] i wasn't truly happy until i got divorced
8 ] i'm not perfect and i love that about me
9 ] i use the bullshit i've been through as fertilizer to grow

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1 ] be able to hold an intelligent conversation
2 ] be actively working on your goals/dreams
3 ] be honest
4 ] be stylish, not trendy per se, but stylish
5 ] be self sufficient
6 ] be confident
7 ] if you have children, be a FATHER, not a DADDY
8 ] broaden my horizons

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind a Lot:
1 ] my son
2 ] my options
3 ] sex
4 ] friends
5 ] money
6 ] love
7 ] living my vision for my life!

Six Things You Wish You Never Did:
1 ] ...I
2 ] ...don't
3 ] ...have
4 ] ...any
5 ] ...regrets
6 ] ...lessons learned

Five Turn Offs:
1 ] nigga sydrome (apathetic, complacent stagnation)
2 ] liars
3 ] low self esteem
4 ] using your past as an excuse for mediocrity
5 ] being NEEDY

Four Turn Ons:
1 ] intelligence (my attractions are more cerebral than physical)
2 ] confidence
3 ] personal style
4 ] chivalry

Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
1 ] :)
2 ] ;)
3 ] :P

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1 ] bring my entrepneurial endeavors to fruition
2 ] see my son become a man

One Confession:
1 ] i want someone to love me at least as much as i love myself...and be able to show me..


Monday, November 12, 2007

a silver lining...

I got a text this weekend that read "behind every beautiful girl there is boy that fucked over her and made her stronger...send this to all your beautiful girls".. NOW.. I am a male advocate.. and this text made my head hurt. nobody ever mentions the beautiful boy that has a fucked up girl in his past.. and that is probably because boys aren't as resilient as girls and he may not be "stronger" for having known the fuck-er-upper.. usually he changes from the fuck-ee to the when you meet him, and he's a fuck-er, he may not have always been that way but you get to reap the "benefits" of his fucked-up-ed-ness!.. and when it happens to you..YES, it made you stronger because you made it through the BS.. but how much of that did you do to yourself? How much of that did you KNOW was coming but you turned a blind eye? There are instances when you are fucked over completely at random, but then there are times that if you had been honest with yourself, you could have walked away before it became that montage of FUCKERY that you now accredit with building your strength! I will admit that my sense of self awareness has been GREATLY influenced by my less than stellar dealings with men that have in essence "fucked me over".. but really why be salty about it? Don't be BITTER.. Be BETTER! The end doesn't justify the means, but if you are better for having learned a life lesson the "hard way", be thankful for it.. when you shed blood, sweat and tears for something.. it means more to you.. My PEACE of mind and self love stem from the trials and tribulations that I have gone through in LIFE, not just romantically...and the BULLSHIT was FERTILIZER for me to grow.. not just with men, but struggles and adversity in general.. no it makes no sense to ice grill him if you see him in the street.. smile and greet him warmly.. don't block your blessings by being a juvenille about your own life decisions! I feel absolutely NO sympathy for people that use their life lessons, defeats and challenges as excuses for mediocrity... yeah it was fucked.. painful.. debilitating.. soul crushing.. disruptive... and maybe even physically unhealthy.. but if you made it out to the other side... it's over now.. don't let your past dictate your future.. use it as motivation to insure you will never be in that place again! so behind every beautiful girl there may really be a boy that fucked her over and made her stronger.. but she is still beautiful and stronger and THAT is what matters! MAN UP!