Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I NEED A JOB!


Aight so back in September 2008, my contract assignment at the pink ribbon plantation ended and I haven't been able to find employment since then...ok well...wait...cuz typing "find employment" implies that I have been "looking for employment", which I really have not. I have been completely (and almost totally) bullsh!t-ing!

I know, I know...you're thinking "but GOODY, how have you been paying your bills?"

Well dear folks, my answer is simple *insert Pharell impression* I'm a HUSTLER baby! I have several entrepreneurial endeavors that subsidize my unemployment insurance, but that is a whole different post! "I'm not rich, but b!tch I'm barely broke!" *wink*

For a while, I was entertaining relocating to Atlanta, GA so I had stopped job hunting locally because I thought I would be moving soon. After further investigation, I decided to delay my relo until the recession recedes. Which means, I NEED A JOB! I have been home for 8 months and I am going batsh1t crazy up in here! I miss interacting with other adults and have gained a toddler-sized amount of weight! So in an effort to fix my "problem", I'm rocking the P90-X for the office-less spread and I am now ACTIVELY seeking employment.

Are you in the DFW Metroplex? Is your job hiring and paying more than my absolute minimum salary requirement of 37k? Then please scroll down and read my "reh-zoo-may"!
(this is my real resume only the companies have been removed)


SUMMARY: A hard working and effective professional with comprehensive experience in processing, accounting, reporting, database management, payroll, and corporate training. Shows good judgment and illustrates initiative to resolve conflicts and other issues productively. A successful manager with the ability to learn, evaluate and streamline business rules and processes. A team player that works efficiently, supporting various projects with professionalism and attention to detail.

EDUCATION:
University of Phoenix – Dallas Campus
Bachelor of Science, Business Management
Degree Awarded: September 2007


PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Contractor for (company name removed) Feb 2008 – Sept 2008
*Processed Donations
*Reconciled Donor Database With Online Lockbox Interface
*Trained Team Members on Sorting/Caging Daily Direct Mail
*Trained Team Members on Processing Direct Mail Donations
*Internal/External Customer Service

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Payment Applications Specialist Oct 2005 – Jan 2008
*Internal/External Customer Service
*Trained Team Members on Payment Research and Application Processes
*Researched, Located and Posted Missing/Misapplied Payments
*Processed Refund Checks and Returned Items
*Balance/Audit Coordinator Outages
*Direct Contact to Advantage/Banner Database and Chase Lockbox Vendors
*Liaison to the Accounting Department for GL Reconciliation
*Reconcile Corporate Bank Accounts w/ Cashier Reports

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Office Manager Mar 2005 – Aug 2005
*Created Specialized Statistical Reports
*Maintained Recruiter Productivity Reports
*Maintained Recruit Database
*Trained Seasonal Employees on Daily office Support Processes
*Updated Payroll and Return on Investment Reports
*Accounts Receivable

(company name removed) Houston, Texas
Jr. Accounting Clerk Mar 2003 – Sept 2003
*Handled Inbound Calls from Clients/Vendors
*Re-billed Past Due Balances to Third Parties
*Managed Delinquent Accounts
*Reconciled driver expense reports
*Performed general Customer Service and Inventory Control

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Assistant Office Manager May 2000 – Dec 2001
*Scheduled Appointments
*Maintained Client/Vendor/Talent Database
*General Customer Service
*General Accounting
*Primary Liaison for Clients/Vendors/Talent
*Processed Photographer Payroll/Expense Accounts

(company name removed) Dallas, Texas
Teller (CSR1) May 1998 – Dec 2000
*Major Cash Handling
*Processed Withdrawals/Deposits
*Customer Service
*Cross Sold Financial Products

REFERENCES: Available Upon Request

So folks! Whatchu think? Am I ready to really go into the wild world of job-iddy look-iddy land?

Monday, May 11, 2009

It's been a long time...I shouldn't have left you...


without a dope beat to step to...and I'm sorry BlogSpot... *hugs BlogSpot tightly* you know I love you, right? I mean, you and me have been through alot together...and you are always there when I need you...I know you feel the change in me...everytime I get ready to blog, something always comes up...I haven't been paying attention to you like I used to...well...the truth is...but...*patting the bed beside me for you to sit* there's something I have to tell you...I've been distracted because, there's someone else...His name is TWITTER!



Don't cry baby, I still love you...you know that...it's just I get lonely at home all day, alone...I don't get to interact with other adults...and TWITTER helps me do that...he understands my needs right now...he makes me laugh and keeps me in touch with new and interesting people... *blocks slap* no Bloggy, of course I think you're interesting, but you aren't always available to me...I can reach Twitty from my phone...*wiping tears away* but this is why I am finally coming clean... I want us to work this out! I am willing to get writer's counseling and be a better blogger to you than I have ever been before...but first you have to take me back...forgive me... *dropping to my knees in a dramatic display of emotion* please BlogSpot! *sobbing* I will do anything!

*cues up Please Don't Go by Tank*